…2. Do some research. Consider this the funnest homework assignment ever. Look at pictures, flip through books, watch porn or movies, Google ideas you’ve always been curious about…
…6. Consider the conversation foreplay. “The more conversation you have, the more planning you do, the more you’ll know what to expect,” Beneteau says. That will help you enjoy the experience overall.
7. Approach it as an experiment. If you invest too much in making it the BEST sex ever, you can set yourself up for disappointment. Instead, consider it playing a game and then use what worked to plan the next time.
8. Start with little things. You don’t have to start with a full-blown fantasy sequence with costumes and everything. Start with a few simple things. Here are just a few examples from Burton: Speak with a sexy accent or voice, try on a headband with ears or a tiara or a wig, give yourself a new name, try a bold red lipstick or dramatic cat eye makeup, try new lingerie and long gloves (men can get try costumes too, like a vest without shirt, or a hat). Read aloud a passage from a book or poem, get into dirty talk, and use a vocabulary you don’t usually use.
9. Pick a scenario you both like. If you want to go with a whole scenario, Kirk suggests choosing one “that is familiar so that you will both feel comfortable.” Some of her suggestions include professor/student, handyman/stay-at-home mom, masseuse/client, escort/client, mistress/slave, movie/book scenes a la Fifty Shades of Grey.
10. Be careful with power exchanges. Speaking of Fifty Shades … “In true role play, the person in the submissive role has the real power,” says Beneteau. “Before undertaking a power exchange role-play, decide who is going to be what role, and what activities are allowed, and which are not.”
11. Give it 15 minutes. Kirk recommends sticking to an idea for at least this long. “If by the end it just doesn’t feel right for either of you, perhaps try doing something else, but if it does work, the action will probably go on a lot longer to the desired conclusion — if you know what I mean.”
12. Keep your sense of humor. “A little chuckle here and there is normal,” says Kirk. “After all, you are both seeing one another like you never have.” Burton agrees. You want to lead with passion, but “work laughter and humor into it.”
13. It’s an experiment, not a performance. Likewise, don’t worry about getting it just right. “Just try to connect with one another,” Kirk advises. “Trust that the dialogue will come to you if you can get over the first couple of opening lines. It’s okay to be nervous. A little bit of nerves adds to the overall excitement and spontaneity.”
14. Debrief afterwards. All three of our experts agree that this is an important part of role-play. Talk about what worked and what didn’t. “If it makes both of you feel more secure, decide not to share this tryst with others,” Kirk says. “Keeping this private may not only give you permission to have less inhibitions about your role-playing, but it may also create a little titillation by making it all the more taboo.”
Credits: 14 Tips for Role-Playing With Your Husband Without Feeling Awkward – The Stir